Capt. Mondo's World o' Mondo-ness

"It's funny cause it's true"
Got an email from Peter L. this morning about his most recent adventure with his very futuristic-looking Honda Insight. This made me LOL, so with his permission I post it here: Peter L.: OK, so around 11:00 PM, I take my new spaceship looking Insight to the 24-hour Home Depot. As usual, when I come out of the store, there's a few people standing around looking at it, notably a middle-aged man and his 10 year old son. From about 20 yards out, I press the remote button, the lights flash, etc. Everyone looks around, sees me approaching as if I'm about to get in, and start shuffling away. I drop my new hose and sprinkler in the hatch, and settle behind the steering wheel. The cash register total just hits me as a little off, so I dig the sale receipt out of my pocket and turn on the newly-installed deep red reading lights, making the car look especially space-shippy. I roll down the driver's side window 'cause it's warm, and I hear this voice say "Excuse me, sir." It's the middle-aged guy, son in tow, and judging by his accent I place him as recently arrived from somewhere in eastern Europe. A jerky conversation ensues as I try to explain that the car is half-electric, and that it generates it's own power. For some reason I can't get him to understand that you don't plug it in, but the electricity's generated by use of kinetic energy. The car is now running, as he's interested to see how quiet it is, when his son spots something very interesting on my dashboard: a big, black, chrome-set button with the letters "FCD" set in a very prominent position far out of passenger's side reach. From the corner of my eye, I see him reaching for it. With a very controlled, quick motion, I grab his hand, look him somewhat gravely in the face and say, "Uh... you probably don't want to touch that while you're standing outside the vehicle". I see the father's hand move to his son's shoulder and tighten almost imperceptibly. The kid's eyes are as wide as saucers now. "What's it do?" he asks. "Well," I explain, "That's the Fusion Containment Discharge override. In the unlikely event of a core overload, you can vent plasma directly from the nacelles underneath the car." I point down toward their feet. The father's grip now tightens very perceptibly around his son's shoulder. "It's pretty risky, but hey, it's better than going supernova on the middle of the highway!" I insert a laugh here - the kind of laugh you make after stating just the most simple, self-evident truth. Now the father's whole arm is around his son's chest. "Uh, thank you, sir!", as he backs slowly away with a look of mortal fear in his eyes. "Thank you! Good night!". I have to curl my toes to near bleeding inside my boots to stop from breaking out in hysterics. "Thank you!" he's yelling from further and further away, still not turning away from the car. Well, that was it. It had gone too far for me to tell them the truth about my Fuel Consumption Display, so I quietly rolled up the window, turned off the spaceship red interior lights, and rolled away slowly. The last glimpse I caught out of my rear-view mirror, the two were running dead-out for a pickup at the other end of the parking lot.