Capt. Mondo's World o' Mondo-ness

Some Hope for Mom
I talked to her last evening, and she sounded much better – lucid, and not prone to ravings. Better yet, she seemed aware that earlier in the week she sounded off-kilter. I gather the doctors have also told her that she may head home as soon as today as a result. Am crossing my fingers...

I gather that while she was there the doctors were playing around with her existing medication. This may well have been the root cause of her dementia. This would explain a lot, since all of this didn’t start until she had already been in the hospital for almost a week. So I am hoping against hope that this is indeed the case, as the alternatives – going after a power of attorney on her behalf and quite possibly putting her in a nursing home – didn’t appeal to me, as it definitely wouldn’t to her. Underneath it all, she’s pretty feisty and enjoys her independence, and I for one don’t want to take that away from her. But I would if I have to...

Am keeping tabs on things though. I would be irresponsible if I didn’t.

Memorial Service for Mary Melenca
I received a further email from Bryce and Aggie, detailing more of what little is known about the death of Mary Melenca. Apparently the thinking is that she died suddenly of “a massive heart attack”. She was 41. Her husband, still in Africa, was told about the tragedy by his family.

McGill University has set a memorial service for Mary next Friday at 2pm. Erika and I plan on being there. We’ll stay overnight at Bryce and Aggie’s place and hopefully hold an informal wake in memory of Mary that evening. Not exactly the way I had planned on returning to Montreal.

I still find it hard to believe. On the day we heard about it, Erika and I both placed calls to Montreal: me to Bryce asking for more info, and Erika leaving a message on Mary's answering machine saying that we hoped the news of the death of someone matching her name wasn't her. Unfortunately, that hope was dashed when I heard back from Bryce that evening, saying that Mary's obituary in the Montreal Gazette came with her picture, so there was no mistake.

She was only 6 years older than myself, and I’ll confess that at one time I was trying to “chase her” while at University. ;-) I didn’t succeed, but we stayed very good friends. While I spent a lot of time with her during my University days, my keenest memories of her are from post-University times: having her join Erika and I, newly married, to a performance of Shakespeare in the Park; the mutually vain (but fun) attempt of her trying to teach me French while I taught her about computers years ago when she lived in Toronto; staying at her place in Verdun during our ersatz Honeymoon in Montreal 10 years ago. She always was so alive – always a smile, and her infectious giggle. I always greeted Mary with what became a traditional bear-hug. I did that again when we went to that Mexican restaurant she recommended just over a month ago – I am so glad I was able to express my ongoing affection for her, and to see her again before she unexpectedly died.

It’s hard for me to imagine a world without her. I had envisioned a future where “Aunty Mary” would come around for visits and become a figure for my two daughters to look up to – and told Mary as much the last time I saw her. She was quite possibly at the happiest stage of her life: finally having finished her Master’s degree, winning a teaching award, newly married, and almost over-employed doing the teaching work she loved at a couple of Montreal's Universities. At 41, she was really just blossoming. Now she’s gone.

I realize I am in the “denial” stage of grief. I recognize it more clearly now having gone through much the same thing when my Father died almost 5 years ago now. The fact that she was close to my age and that it was so unexpected also drives home the reality of my own mortality – how could it not?

Bye Mary. You'll be missed.

Setting Up the Xmas Tree
Not everything is bleak in my life these days. I was greatly cheered by Vanessa’s increasing excitement over Xmas. The Xmas tree we bought n Wednesday was delivered late that night, and so on Thursday morning I brought the tree in off of the porch and set it up in the dining room. It’s a nice little Douglas Fir, just under 6ft high, and Vanessa chose it herself from a bunch of other such trees. Vanessa got all excited about it.

Erika got Vanessa to work creating Xmas tree ornaments. Then she dug out the lights and ornaments from previous years, and Vanessa spent a long time decorating the tree, and clearly having a blast.

Vanessa also went Xmas gift shopping with her Mom, and brought back a package clearly meant for me (I think it’s the terry-cloth robe that Erika and I had discussed a while ago). Erika told me to “go away, don’t look” when I came upstairs from the basement office, and Vanessa chimed loudly saying “it’s a secret!” Then, once the package had been hidden away, Vanessa took me by the hand and immediately wanted to show me the secret. Erika had to stop her and explain what “secret” meant, and that Daddy had to wait until Xmas to find out what it was. ;-)

I hadn’t slept well the previous night, and so I started the workday very early, at 6am. So I ended my workday at 2pm and went with Vanessa to the local pool where we swam and played for a good hour-and-a-half. Vanessa loves the pool, and I wanted to go to help take my mind off of things. We both had a blast. For me it helped to end the day on a positive note.