Capt. Mondo's World o' Mondo-ness

"They're Playing Some Interesting Notes This Time"
Tonight there was an event I half-dread throughout the year: the East York Concert Band Christmas Concert held annually at the Blue Danube in North Toronto. I go to it because Erika is part of the band, and to her credit the trumpet section is arguably the best part of the whole band. But attending a performance by the band is a form of sonic torture, and probably should be banned by the Geneva Convention.

After previous visits I sometimes like to say afterwards that they make me appreciate professional classical musicians all the more (how can you appreciate what's truly good if you haven't heard the other end of things), but this concert -- mercifully cut short for me since I had to take a tired baby home, had no redeeming musical qualities that I could discern. Sheer musical torture.

The problem with the band is that they are given complex arrangements of songs -- far more than the band can safely handle. Some elements remain the same year after year: the drummer who can't keep a beat to save his life, the clarinet section who hover around, but never seem to actually hit the right note, and trombonists who blart out flatulent-sounding notes everywhere. Now picture this ensemble trying to do fairly complex arrangements of Xmas tunes and you begin to get a sense as to how wrong this all was.

They are arguably better than most junior high-school bands you are likely to meet, but then high-school bands don't tackle the type of complex material that these guys do. And with good reason.

This is maybe my fourth or fifth show I've attended, and the dread hit me the moment I saw the song listing. Here's the first half of the listing:

At first glance it doesn't seem so bad: 10 pieces. But a seasoned attendee like myself immediately spots the danger: several of these are medleys of tunes. Along with the bandmaster's interminable introductions, these few songs lasted a full, painful hour.

I sat at a table with the family of Dave B., who is a trumpeter in the band who lives across the street from us. His family had a number of coping mechanisms for dealing with this event: two of the teenaged girls brought their homework, another brought a novel, and the Mother managed to distract herself entertaining Annie and Vanessa.

Her comment after the first tune: "I don't drag him [her husband] to flower shows, so I don't see why..."

Vanessa had a great time -- she looks forward to this event every year, as she gets to stay up late and do plenty of colouring in her colouring book, have plenty of treats and so on. I think she also likes seeing her Mommy get dressed up for the show. Annie also had a good time -- when not munching on a snack she was happily running around the table, taking off her socks and enjoying the novelty of it all. The kids were a great distraction for me, and I think for everybody sitting close to us.

At the end of the first hour, despite a couple of naps earlier in the day, Annie was beginning to give out, and so I was reprieved from final hour or so of the performance as I whisked Annie home in a cab (Vanessa stayed with Dave B.'s family for the rest of the show).

If I go to this next year, I vow I will bring proper recording equipment. My descriptions simply cannot do the concert the justice it deserves... ;-)