Capt. Mondo's World o' Mondo-ness

"So How Do You Feel About It?"
This is what Erika asked me last night. I haven't really talked too much about how I feel about the death of my Mother, and have spent more time dealing with the details: arranging the funeral, writing the eulogy, dealing with her estate.

How do I feel? Sad.

I'm torn because while of course I wish she would have stuck around longer than she did in order to see her Grand-daughters grow-up. But by the same token I am glad that she went relatively quickly and did not suffer too much. It's all over with.

It's that finality that I find hardest to deal with. It's hard for me not to imagine that Mom is still at the nursing home, or even in her old home, and that she's still a phone call away. But she isn't. No more phone calls, no more visits. Even with her mental state being what it was, there was still someone who was still Mom for me, even though I was now in charge of looking after her.

I still don't think it's all really sunk in. This takes a while.

Today is also the 6th anniversary of my Father's death...